Me, Myself and Everyone Else

So much to do.  So little time.  Twenty four hours a day just doesn't cut it.  Need to clone myself - cubed!  I am one of those people who are a magnet for multi-tasking.  But there is a yin to my yang.  I do love to have some free time to focus on only the things that I really feel like doing.  Not included on that list is: dusting, vacuuming, paying bills, ironing (if you fold it right from the dryer and put it away does it miraculously emerge from the closet wrinkle free?) washing dishes, grocery shopping and cooking.  Oh, and did I mention working outside of the house stuff like marketing, accounting, customer service, follow up calls, invoicing, etc., etc., etc.?  The list could go on, I choose to not.

Interestingly, a couple of ideas came to me via emails these past two days.  From one source that sells inspirational and motivational, reader friendly books, was the idea that the manner in which we conduct our personal lives and work might not be as effective as we might think. The example given was, in a ten second time frame draw as many triangles as you can on a piece of paper. I drew some twenty odd.  When I continued reading I was in for quite a surprise.  Suppose you drew connecting 'w's' on a paper and then a straight line at top and another at the bottom.  Do you think that you could draw more triangles than you did before in that same ten-second period?  You better believe it!  I more than doubled my count.

It gets you thinking about what could have been accomplished in the same amount of time if thought and organization precluded the act of  [insert whatever you would like to accomplish in here].

The other email that I received was for a dial-in, one-minute meditation at noon on Monday. I missed that time [not a big window of opportunity] but decided to persevere.  The woman who sent the email is an amazing yoga/meditation instructor and I really did want to experience a small break in my day.  I emailed her back that I wasn't always available during the set time and was there anything that she could do to help me out.  Wonderful woman that she is, she sent me a direct link to receive a free two-minute meditation that I could experience any time, and as often as I wanted and/or needed.  

That brief two minutes was exactly what the doctor ordered.  While we don't always feel that we have enough hours in the day to accomplish our important list of things to do, ignoring ourselves, initially putting ourselves on the back burner, is not necessarily the best way to handle it.

Years ago when I started studying Kabbalah, our teacher, Sarah, spoke about how important we, as parents, are.  She gave the very good example of aircraft safety.  When the oxygen masks fall from the ceiling compartments we are told to first affix our own mask and then our child's.  Why?  Well, if we pass out from lack of oxygen while we're trying to take care of our child[ren], we may all end up in dire straits.

In essence, if we take care of ourselves, we can take care of others.  Better management of our time, our physical and our spiritual beings, is what helps us and allows us to help others. Simple concept, yes, too often ignored.

Shakespeare expressed it best when he wrote    -      "Self-love is not so vile a sin as self-neglecting."       In the classified ads of life, martyrs need not apply.

Light, Love & Lots of Energy

One Size Fits All

One Size Fits All

In general we know, of all details

when buying a sweater or shoes,

or finding the right bicycle part,

the size is important to choose.

When Goldilocks searched for the perfect bed

from among the three at hand,

she tried them all to see which was best.

Only one felt truly grand.

Driving into a lot, to park the car

is as easy as one, two, three.

But a big SUV won't fit in a spot

where a mini coupe's meant to be.

When giving a gift that won't be returned

because of the color or brand,

we know what you need, and is priceless as well,

and is now back by popular demand.

Friendship and love, true caring and trust,

respect, loyalty and devotion

will always fare better and last longer, too,

than a sweet smelling bottle of lotion.

When you give of these gifts, lovingly wrapped

with bow and lifetime warranty,

no line will form at the service counter,

returned, they never will be.

Deborah Desser-Herchan

September 6, 2004

I've often thought about the act of giving and receiving gifts.  There are times when we really stress about color, quantity, brand, size, cost, wrapping, when and where to give, who's giving what, etc.  It is possible that we quantify our emotions, too, however.  We've all heard our friends note at one time or another that either they feel that they're giving too much to a relationship or not receiving enough back.  But, would we ever think of asking someone to take back their love, caring or respect?  Not a chance.  

We are all currently feeling the economical pinch either at an upper level or in a more moderate 'trickle down' situation.  My thought is this:  paper costs next to nothing and words are very special.  The next gift that you want to give can carry a virtually 'priceless' price tag.  Love, respect, kindness (in any form), friendship, courtesy, care...and the list goes on, are always beautifully received.  Jump on the grass roots bandwagon and go all out crazy, giving, giving, giving, of.................. yourself!  

Leaving you today with this thought;

"He who loves with purity considers not the gift of the lover, but the love of the giver".

-   Thomas A Kempis

Wishing you love, every day, in every way.

On Your Mark.....

Today is a positive day according to the Kabbalistic calendar.

On Your Mark. Get Ready. Get Set. Go!  

Point Of Beginning.  Origination.  Seed Level.  Starting Fresh.  Do Over.  Mulligan.   Choose any one of these and basically you are opting for the 'starting point' of something. While we have all been told that we can 'never go back', we might all like to consider that we can always begin again.  A 'false start' in a race results in starting over.  When a situation becomes intolerable and we pine over the fact that we messed up what might have been great, what is stopping us from taking a new direction?  Let's face it, when we are traveling west and realize that we should be going east, we make a u-turn and continue traveling in the right direction.  It is sad when we feel life is not giving us what we want, however, there is no rule book, no manual that says we can't change direction and determine where we want to go.  

                                                                                                                   Years ago I remember joining a popular weight loss organization.  I was very impressed with the message that one of their speakers related to our group.  She said that a diet cannot be ruined for the day when it only took moments to eat that delicious morsel of chocolate.  So, she had stated, in fact the diet was only delayed by those moments and back on track the minute it had been consumed.

I like that!  It is an optimistic and truly realistic view to what happened.  Yippy and social/political  activist, Abbie Hoffman, appropriately said 'today is the first day of the rest of your life'.  I like to think that we all have choices, and even if we just made, what we consider in hind sight, a poor one, we have the power over our own minds to choose and create a new one.

Large and colorful, yet more than that, truthful.  Today is the first day of the rest of your life. The power in and of this statement should not be misused, though.  Forethought is necessary to avoid mistakes.  But, as members of the human race, we have all fallen into the 'oops, I should have seen that coming' trap.  

Remember what we were instructed to do, as children, when approaching railroad tracks?   Stop, Look  &  Listen.  Only at this juncture, let us think in the following terms:  Stop - stop your mind from racing.  Only by stopping, or at the very least slowing down, can one make the turn.  Look - look deeply within yourself.  Not at anyone else.  You, and you alone, are responsible for what occurred and what is about to occur.  If you are going to have a new beginning, make it a good one!  Listen -  listen to your head, to your heart, and then to your head again!  

And now for the most important part of this new start.  Do not look back and self-recriminate.  Do not accuse yourself of anything.  Congratulate yourself that you had the where-with-all to identify and accept the new position at the starting line.  You, we, are all human.  We have our strong moments and we have our weak moments.

As for guilt; deeds - simply redo, weak moments - empower yourself, and chocolate - grab napkin and delicately dab at corners of mouth! 

Wishing you a deliciously cathartic day!

Neither Judge Nor Jury

We've all heard the expressions 'judge not a book by its cover' or 'all that glitters is not gold', but I think that the story that I read to my son, when he was young, really defined these expressions best.

Many years ago, a child lived with his father atop a hill.  They were quite poor and had little; a rough hewn cabin in which to sleep, produce and locally bartered food to eat and the clothes upon their backs.  The cabin had one small window that they kept sparkling clean as it was their only source of natural light.  Every day this young man would stand at the edge of the hill when the sun started to go down, and gaze across the valley to another hill top.  The sun would reflect the most magnificent gold emanating from the other side. He wondered what kind of a house would shine as brightly as pure gold, and figured that this must be where a king or rich person lived.  Who else could afford such opulence?  He longed to go there and see the home of these very wealthy people.  This went on for a very long time.  He began asking his father if they could travel to the other hilltop city and visit the people that dwelled there.  His father repeatedly said no, but one day after seeing his son's sadness, agreed.  They set out on this journey after little preparation.  When they arrived at the other side, tired yet looking forward to the magnificent structure that would await them, they could not find the king's castle.  The son approached a young girl wearing worn out clothes and asked if she could direct them to the king's castle.  When she told them there was no king or castle the young boy was very disappointed.  She went on to say how she would like to visit the other side of the valley where, obviously, there did dwell a king.  The young traveller revealed that he and his father had journeyed several days to reach her town and turned to point to where they lived.  The girl excitedly asked about their king and regal castle.  When it was explained that no such castle or king existed, she did not believe them.  She turned and pointed across the valley, just as the sun began to set.  Look, she pointed excitedly, there!  Over there, where the sun reflects the gold of the beautiful castle.  The son and father looked at one another.  She was pointing to their village, in fact to their very house!  That is no castle said the father, that is the sun reflecting off of our one tiny window of our very small house.  After further discussion the young girl, boy and father realized that the setting sun and window panes of each other's small abodes had cast an illusion that could not have been further from the reality of how they each lived. 

How often do we assume that someone else has it better or easier?  This story pointed out to me just how far from the truth our assumptions very often are.  When someone appears to have every thing they desire monetarily, do we ever question if they have good health or good relationships with their families? Likewise when people are healthy do we ever stop to think how they are doing financially?

When we judge, for the good, the bad or anything that lies in between, we factor into it our own value system, which in turn can become the DNA of many untruths.   Longfellow said 'Make not thyself the judge of any man'.  I think he was on to something!

May today bring you light, love and the pursuit of truth.

Please Hold While I Connect You....

I am the recipient of an incredible gift in the form of spiritual teaching.  As mentioned in one of my blog entries, being a student of spirituality and working at my own spiritual growth has been ongoing over the course of seven and a half years.  Just as those who diet can reach plateaus, spiritual learning can, at times, be confronted with stumbling blocks.  Yesterday I had an amazing experience.  

While on the way to a spiritual meeting I expressed to a very dear friend of mine the phenomenon of feeling totally connected for an extended period of time, only to have it replaced with almost total disconnection. Later that evening, as we were preparing to leave, our spiritual mentor addressed exactly what we had talked about.  He read and then handed me a single page that could have been composed as if he was in the back seat of the car and listening in to our conversation. 

Life Ebbs And Flows

A friend approached me recently and told me they were

having a hard time with the fact that they felt they had

"lost their connection" to spirit.  They had been having

wonderful experiences and now they felt empty.

I told them something that was told to me many years ago

that has been very helpful to me.  It's very simple.

"The sun rises, and the sun sets."

Ebbs and flows are natural in spiritual experience.

Nothing is lost in the times when it may feel like you have

"lost your connection".  Relax and enjoy life, and trust

that the next flow will be there when it should be.  Think

of life as moving upward on a spiral.  You will experience

similar things as time goes by, including ebbs and flows,

but each time you will be at a higher place on the spiral.

Another helpful point...

As you are "climbing the spiritual ladder", every kick in the 

butt can be a boost up the ladder.  Sometimes real friends, 

or life, gives us a boost by kicking us in the butt!

It's all ok.  Don't forget, life is eternal, enjoy it as fully as possible.

- written and reprinted with the permission of Thomas Walsh

Just as the tides ebb and flow in the course of nature, and our bodies respond in kind, so do our minds filter in and out our thoughts and spirit.  When the lamp plug pulls out from the wall and we have to plug it back in to get a connection, we do not panic.  We simply plug it back in. The electricity is still there.  When we make a telephone call and an operator places us on hold, the line is still open.

I leave you today with a lovely excerpt by Longfellow.................

The little waves, with their soft, white hands, 

Efface the footprints in the sands,

And the tide rises, the tide falls.

Wishing you light, love and the ability to undertake and overcome all challenges.

Mind Over Machine Matters

Monday morning as I leaned against my washing machine, the warmth and rhythmic motion brought back the memory of working out at a health club in Montreal a good few years ago.  Back in 'those' days, we (my sister, friend and I) would go to aerobic classes, use the gym equipment and take leisurely saunas which were  basically catch up time for chatting.  Some of the gym equipment was, as I think back, really quite funny.  There was one in particular that had a base, torso and wide rubbery strap that when placed around your thighs and turned on would shake your (ahem) fat.  Yup, all you had to do was stand there and be shaken like a dry martini.  We always felt so impressed with ourselves, spending upwards of ten, even twenty minutes on this machine.  When we stepped down our thighs were numb but, heck, we had really worked out and if that was the price that had to be paid, so be it. 

So back to the washing machine.  I thought about the clothes being agitated inside, think thighs here, and realized that the only thing that was actually working out was the machine.  Oh, sure, there was movement, but no actual musculature was involved, only the (ahem) fat.  Sure it was an exercise, one of futility.  Time spent, but no payoff. You know, like busy work handed out at school. Not necessarily a lesson, but a holding pattern.  It was, to a large degree, passive. 

The exercise machine would not, could not, exercise for us.  When modern technology began replacing these antiquated ideas, and exercise machines were the accompaniment to our regime, not the star attraction, we saw some changes in our physiques.  While not intentional, we had been deceived.  The clothes were not thrashing about and washing themselves, nor were our legs or hips doing any reducing.  Yes, we were deceived, but did we inherently know that we were being deceived?  I think Lord Greville may have captured the essence of deceit when he said "No man was ever so much deceived by another as by himself".  

Let us not fool ourselves.  It is a betrayal of the most intimate sort.  While each and every one of us can talk ourselves into one thing or another and become indignant at the outcome, we are still fooling ourselves.  Yes, I allowed myself to be shaken to numbness on that otherwise docile machine, but at the back of my mind there was a flicker, a nano second of a thought that said, "how is this possible?" 

It's not about the machine, it's about us.  We matter and we need to care enough about ourselves not to fall victim to..... ourselves.  

Somewhere out there, in the great land fills, are bits and pieces of cocktail shaking exercise machines.  They are harmless. They only did what they were wired to do.  Every time, though, that we stepped onto one, we rewired ourselves into believing that we could passively attain great physical rewards.  Please refer back to Lord Greville's quote.

Wishing you light, love and great achievements.

Time Marches On

Today is considered a neutral day on the Kabbalistic calendar.

Poof!  January has come and gone, February has arrived, and if we're not observant, March will be upon us before we have taken the time to truly appreciate February.  As I have become aware, almost painfully of that stage of life as regards age (now measured in decades) I have felt the need to let certain things go, while at the same time trying dearly to hold on to body, brain and belief.  In french the expression, 'jamais dit jamais' or 'never say never', we are led to believe that nothing should be ruled out as anything may happen.

Yesterday revealed many things.  At a family celebration I was greeted by a four year old who replied to my question of 'how are you?' with an extended hand and a very mature, 'fine, thank you'.  I watched as my very fit seventy-two year old cousin bench pressed two hundred pounds.  My husband and I happily observed as our sixteen year old son had meaningful conversations with family members almost fives times his age. It was a day of basking in the comfortable glow of several generations of a family, who, at many different stages of life exhibited behaviors not generally associated with their particular age group.

One can repeat cliche after cliche, such as Chaucer's 'time and tide wait for no man', but yesterday we lived it.  A four year old, who, while having his whole life ahead of him to master the intricacies of social interaction, had already begun, a seventy two year old who has refused to allow age and gravitational pull to wreak havoc on his body and a sixteen year old who relished the opportunity of conversational intercourse with his elders all indicated that time was precious and not to be wasted.

Yesterday clearly revealed that each and every day has a purpose, and while days tend to pass quickly we can still experience one that holds much and guarantees a future with a warm and happy past.  Manifesting our future so that one's memory bank will be filled to capacity with the good times starts here, now, today in the month of February.  At this point not once has the word procrastination entered into this discourse, however, Persius said 'for yesterday is once tomorrow' and I am a firm believer that we cannot recapture the now.

March, we know you're there. We see you peeking your head around the corner.  You are a lovely month in your own right, but please, excuse us, we still have much of February to enjoy.

May today bring you much and tomorrow bring you more. 

Love, light and happiness.