There are lots of weddings going on these days. Music is being chosen for the first dance. Moms and daughters are gleefully picking out wedding outfits and future brides and grooms are tasting lots of cake: lemon, red velvet, coconut,vanilla and chocolate.
Time is also being devoted to writing vows. The words spoken on this solemn day of devotion are written and rewritten several times to impress upon partner and guests just how important and relevant the uniting of two souls is during this ceremony. Often, numerous days of intense thought processes are poured into these short passages promising to uphold, honor, love and cherish one another. The editing can be an arduous task to significantly convey just how the couple feels about each other.
Why then do so many marriages end in divorce?
Psychologists' offices are filled with sad and unfulfilled husbands and wives who couldn't hold together their marriages. You may not believe in therapy and psychology, but the path of discovery most often used is this: going back in time to review your life. What might you discover when an educated and experienced therapist asks some profound questions?
I Do Love - Me
If men and women, young and old loved themselves as much as they loved their partners and others, we may witness fewer and fewer divorces. Self love seems to evade the higher percentage of the population. If you think back years or just moments ago, do you remember being critical of yourself? Judging yourself much more harshly than you judge others? Do you pick on yourself for every little thing? When was the last time you actually patted yourself on the back? Are you a good friend to yourself and encourage you, like you?
I Do Honor - Me
Self-respect is a dwindling commodity. Think about it: the media, reality TV shows and call-in radio programs are propagating the average person to diminish their self-worth. In today's world you can make a name for yourself simply by debasing your character and reputation in front of millions.
I Do Cherish - Me
What does cherishing ones self mean? For starters it means taking care of yourself at least as well and proactively as you take care of others, whether it is a parent, spouse, sibling, child or friend.
The Love of Your New Life
The love of your new life is YOU! It can take some getting used to, thinking about yourself in this way, but the expression "It starts at the top" makes you the CEO of your life. This does not mean that you focus 24/7 on yourself. It does mean that you start taking yourself more seriously and developing a better relationship with the president of the company called ... YOU!
- Love You. Affirmations such as: I am a good, kind and caring person, I look forward to treating others and loving others as I treat and love myself and my self-love can make a difference because others are attracted to positive people, should be repeated daily.
- Honor You. Before your toes touch the ground in the morning, close your eyes and envision a day filled with respect - given and received. It is a fact that one cannot get respect if one does not give it. Honor all that is right about you. Make a list of your wonderful, endearing and benevolent qualities.
- Cherish You. While it is lovely to have a partner to hold and comfort you, bear in mind that parents teach self-soothing to very young babies. Although this is taught at a tender age, most forget how to self-soothe. Look in the mirror and smile at yourself. Take the time to have a quiet, loving talk with yourself every morning and at the end of the day. Compliment yourself on a job well done at work or for being there when a close friend is in need. Take time to relax and reflect. We all need it.
You are now in the position to start loving others because once you have given to yourself, you can give the same love, attention and consideration to others. Your future husband or wife and your future children will receive the best you that there is.
I now pronounce you your own best friend. Have a good life.