Saturday, June 8, 2013

Walk Away, Renée or How I Made the Best Change of My Life

The year is 1966. The band -  The Left Banke. The story - one of love and a free-spirited girlfriend named Renée. But you know that's not what this article is about! It's not just about walking away, but  knowing when to walk away. When it feels right. When the flame has sputtered and died. When all options have been reviewed and re-reviewed. It's about closing a door so that another may open. And it's not just about love relationships. It's about life - work, education, travel, friends, recreation, opportunities. People and places and things that have fully reached their potential shelf-life and have expired.
It's about knowing when to walk away

Sometimes the lines are a little hazy; we throw away eggs when the expiration date has been reached, but we might hold onto aspirin and canned tomato soup longer.


When it comes to people, where we live and where we work, it is not as simple as discarding a few old eggs into the garbage disposal. Great consideration should be given to the serious consequences that such a decision will place upon the one walking away and the one left behind.

It's equally important to think about what precipitated the need to change your (fill in the blank). When you feel the time has come to change your relationship with your spouse or dear friend, quit your job, move away from your home or hometown entirely, it shouldn't be a snap judgement. Carefully weigh the pros and cons of staying and leaving. A reactive nature may cause this to be the worst decision ever, while a conscientious nature may turn it into the best.

Chaos can lead to calamity as well as great change. Looking deeply into the reasons why you want to walk away from a situation will support your final decision. This life-altering change usually cannot be easily reversed. Think about this before you make it a definite move:
  1. Can anything be done (worked on) so that walking away is not necessary or still a little ways off from a life disruption?
  2. Have you considered the pros and cons of leaving?
  3. Is there a way to take a short break to delve deeper into the situation prior to ending it? During the break you  may want to talk to a therapist or job counselor to gain a different, unbiased perspective. Reading books and conducting research can also shed light and assist in arriving at a well thought out resolution.
Also remember that if the person  or job is  making you ill, unhappy and unfulfilled on a daily basis, after trying all other avenues, the arrow is pointing towards making a change. And as the little poster to the left says, "All Great Changes Are Preceded by Chaos." Chaos is a pretty good indicator that change is going to net you a whole lot more future happiness than you're feeling right now. Makes you think, maybe Renee should have run!

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

What's Better than Counting Sheep?

Counting your blessings is a way of keeping your faith strong. For when you are present to the fact that even when life is rough around the edges and you still have a roof over your head, food on the table and, more importantly, family and friends whose love sustains you, you realize that you are one of the luckiest people in the world at that moment. When you keep counting your blessings, the moments continue, lengthen and run into the next. They don't wane - they remain, growing - taking root - becoming a source of energy. As you count your blessings over and over again, a pattern emerges. It becomes your mantra. Better than counting sheep. Life fulfilling. Life sustaining. Life altering.

 Identify Your Blessings
Personalize your blessings. Remember when you named your first doll or teddy bear? They were so much more special and a part of you and your life. Be thankful for sight, sound, taste, love, parents, children, belief, dreams, goals, and even disappointments, as they are generally the springboard that drives and challenges you, creating positive change.

Feel Your Blessings
Think about what you are saying. As you count your blessings be present to not only what your words are, but your thoughts and feelings at the same time. Mesh with the energy of your words and thoughts. Feel how your body responds as you breathe - how it begins to relax and take comfort in your thankfulness and realization of all the blessings that you are acknowledging; that exist.

Filled to Overflowing 
What very often happens as you count your blessings is the natural progression of understanding that gratitude is an unstoppable force leading to awe, beauty and wonder. This is an emotional awakening that you might not have expected. Your joy at this discovery is released along with endorphins. Moments ago you might have felt lost and broken. Now you feel alive and present to the wonders of the universe and all the magic it holds. You are a part of this universe that continuously redefines and regenerates the energies of all matter, thoughts, possibilities and probabilities. Tears of sorrow are often replaced with tears of joy and gratitude; from salty to sweet - Tears that wash away the bitterness of fleeting disappointments, making way for the new, more positive energy of better things to come.  You are manifesting a better future for yourself.

The Sheep Won't Mind
Count your blessings when you first awaken and before you go to sleep. Pleasant and serene thoughts precede a joyous day and ensure a more restful sleep. 

Count your sweet, sweet blessings. Name them, identify them, feel them and make them a part of your life. Draw them into the fold of your existence and have them become an extension of your thoughts, deeds and energy. Counting your blessings instead of sheep will bring you more peace than you could have every imagined. Sweet dreams and sweet blessings. Honestly, the sheep won't mind one bit.