Therapy on a Shoestring

Hi – how're you doing? You don't have to look behind you – I'm talking to you. Yeah, you.

How's 2015 working for you? Has the New Year been a good one so far? How's work? the family? your finances? health? Anything getting you down?

Don't look so surprised. If you've got challenges in any of these areas, you're not alone.

With every new year comes expectations: Better this, improved that, more of something, less of something. Every year people think it's going to be different. Unfortunately, often it's either a mildly heightened or watered down version of the year before.

Sorry. Don't mean to be a bummer, but it's true. 

Some say the bluest day of the year is the first Monday after the New Year. Lines start forming at therapists' offices soon after; people needing answers, a fix for what ails them. They suck it up and spend lots of money to talk ... and have someone listen.
Don't get me wrong. There are many wonderful and talented therapists, but not everyone can afford to pay hundreds of dollars a month to get emotional relief. 

Even as the year progresses and Winter resigns itself to Spring, and Spring to Summer, too many carry burdens that get the best of them. Life is a gift, but it's not always easy.

Therapy on a Shoestring

This is why I've come up with a few free -to-inexpensive ideas to help you self soothe when it feels like life is getting the better of you. You may question how effective these methods are, but I tell you – they work! 

If you're feeling a little down, you may find some value in the options listed below. 

I'm not a licensed therapist, never have been, don't pretend to be, but what if one of these simple ideas started making you feel better? Is it worth it? Only you can decide if it is or isn't.

 

Let's Do This! Ten Great Ways to Feel Better

Therapy on a shoestring reminds me of another one of my articles: "Love on a Budget." Ninety-eight percent of the population don't have deep pockets. There's a need for creative accounting, figuratively speaking. So, here goes...

1. Hug Therapy. This no-cost way of feeling better is unbelievable. And let me just stop you in your tracks if you're thinking, "But what if there's no one to hug me?" Hug yourself! You read right. Hug yourself. The heat that emanates from your own hands is soothing and therapeutic. $0!
2. Art Therapy. Remember when you were in school and you drew pictures and colored and painted? Everything around you faded into the background as you delved into your artistic endeavors. Worries seemed smaller and happiness filled your heart. Under $5 for basic supplies!
3. Music Therapy. Music has the magical ability to transition your mood almost immediately. What's the cost of electricity to listen to the radio? Zero dollars to mere pennies.
   
4. Bubble Therapy. Go outside and blow bubbles. You can buy them at the dollar store. One buck for 16 ounces! The ethereal bubbles float and escape into the sky, elevating your mood at the same time.
5. Laughter Therapy. Joke. Watch comedy shows. Read a funny book. All are basically zero dollars, and as we all know, laughter is jogging for the soul.
6. Gratitude Therapy. Have you taken the time lately to count the many incredible things in your life? Remember, there are too-many-to-count blessings that we often forget to acknowledge.
7. Art & Music Therapy. Combine art therapy and music therapy and you get – tada!  art and music therapy! Let the music lift your spirits and free you up to creatively draw or paint. Still under $5!
8. Think of Others Therapy. When you realize just how good you have it and spend your energy and thoughts thinking of others, and doing good deeds, your heart opens up and your mind mellows. Ahem – another freebie therapy!
9. Physical Activity Therapy. Most sports and activities require more than just the physical – they depend on mental acuity, as well. The mental focus and release of endorphins due to physical activity are a win/win. Cost depends on the activity, but it costs $0 to swim, walk or bike.
10. Focus on the Present Therapy. If you aren't already aware, everything in life is temporary. That means the good moods and the bad. When you focus on the present you have a better chance of being keenly aware of the good. Dwelling on the past or stressing over the future deprives you of your present peace of mind.

Maybe now is the time to take stock of how you feel and how you ultimately want to feel. There are so many ways of calming self and finding solace, using simple and inexpensive methods. 

One last tip – if you want to find a mentor who can assist in helping you feel better, have a look at children playing in the park. Their joy at the little things in life is a lesson in itself.

How will you be celebrating "Positive Power of Humor and Creativity Days" June 5–7?

Controversy is Liberating

Controversy is everywhere... Is the glass of water half empty or half full?

Depending on an individual's perspective it could be either – or both - maybe even neither!

The world has become a playing field for the opinions of everyone, and controversy reigns like a king on a throne.

Speaking of water, is it healthier to drink room temp or iced? There are "ye's" and "nays" for both sides.

Does organic agriculture truly result in better quality apples and oranges, or not? Is drinking coffee good or bad for you? Does eating red meat mean you will have health issues? 

Is driving a compact car going to save our planet? Is deforestation still occurring - should we recycle our paper? Do our recycled plastics and papers really get recycled? Is orange the new black???

Controversy can feel stressful to some, but try thinking about it in these terms...

Controversy is freedom - freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and freedom of action. It may not be pleasant but it is freedom.

Friendships have been broken and lost over controversial topics and events; beyond the half-full, half-empty debate. 

Countries have fought wars over lines drawn.

Household furnishings have been battled over and split in half in divorce disputes.

So how can controversy be liberating?

When you pick a side, choose an option and believe in your choice, controversy is liberating. It's not always easy, but with time it can be the best thing you ever did. 

Choosing iced water over tepid is not earth shattering, while choosing to let go of a husband, wife or lifelong friend can feel like the world is coming to an end.

Au contraire - it is one of the most liberating things a person can do to move on to the next chapter. It is the beginning of the healing process and the indicator of new horizons and new-found freedom. 

Freedom of choice is given from the universe - a spiritual gift that supports our decisions and helps us process what we need to do to move forward. It boils down to the liberation of some of the most challenging controversies, and that liberation is what buoys us in the next phase of life.

Soothing a Savage Breast

14,856,187... 19,346,390... 8,658,191... 4,163,908... 17,946,107... 1,946,106... 18,733,207... 1,832,528... 13,318,997... 1,196,995... 6,296,938... 2,127,197... 4,466,861...


Any idea what these numbers represent? 

Are they statistics or demographics of some sort?


I think you'll be surprised to learn what they're about.

But before I let you in on this, I'd like to share some statistics...

1. In a survey carried out between 2005–2010 it was found that about 4% of the adult population in the United States took prescription sleep aids
2. A market research firm has reported a tripling in sleep aid prescriptions from 1998 to 2006 for young adults aged 18–24 
3. More women than men use sleep aids (5.0% and 3.1% respectively)

Two of the references for these statistics come from respected sources: The LA Times and a group of psychiatric researchers. Both attribute the economic slowdown as the culprit of stress and sleep disorders. So it would be pretty safe to say that people of all ages are suffering and need to find a way to calm down and breathe; to find a way to sleep and be peaceful while they're awake; to have an aid to help them cope.

Apparently there is, yet, I don't see any statistics on this coping mechanism even though the numbers are staggering. Conduct a basic search and you will find tons of statistics on prescriptions. Don't forget to keep reading your research until the very end - that's when it reveals the warnings, contraindications and horror stories of side effects.

A Groovy Kinda Music

The values mentioned above are real time numbers –  people who listen to a certain type of music on You Tube, which in turn, represents the number of people who are trying to remain calm and relieve themselves of stress, as well as to be able to fall sleep.

Search under the headings: Calming Music, Calming Music for Stress, Meditative Music, Music to Relieve Stress, etc. If you search under: Calm, Meditation, Stress, Yoga, New Age and several other key words, hundreds of play lists come up.

What this tells us is that we are living in very challenging times. It tells us that many are seeking an alternative way to decompress; to be able to cope, and function, at the same time. Whether due to economics, family or personal relationships, this generation needs some serious help to restore inner peace.

Over a million hits is impressive, but many of these tranquil play lists have been host to  multiples of millions - six, thirteen, eighteen million, and more. Hit after hit from those seeking healthier, more spiritually based choices to find tranquility, rather than from prescriptive meds.

This good news, that millions are finding alternatives to prescription drugs to calm themselves, doesn't seem to appear in mainstream statistics, as important and relevant as they are. You will find many articles on the benefits, but nothing on the hard numbers. 

Did you know that meditating, doing yoga and listening to calming music can lower your blood pressure and heart rate by up to 10 points, and often more? Soothing music can aid in restoring your health - you would think that the statisticians and medical researchers would want to know more about this.

We've been sold on organic, grassroots and back to basics for our produce, clothing and building materials. Why not music as well?

Thank You, Mr. Congreve

"Music hath charms to soothe a savage breast," is a line written by William Congreve in 1697, from his play, "The Mourning Bride." It's doubtful that Congreve had a crystal ball and looked into the chaotic future, however, he was on the right track more than three hundred years ago. 

If it comes down to a choice between drugs and music, let's opt for the organic, grassroots of meditative, calming notes that have no side effects and only benefits of the best kind. The melodic strains of soothing music can bring you to a Edenesque place that no drug or artificial method can. Mindful meditation while listening to a tranquil playlist is a delightful drug of the very best kind. Namaste.

A Shoulder and a Second Glance

Never mistake a look of determination; steely eyes and set jaw, thin lips in a straight line, for a cold heart. 

Don't be too sure that crossed arms are staunch gateposts fending off and keeping out others from the body, mind, heart and soul hidden behind them. 

Feet firmly planted, set below legs slightly parted and straight, knees locked in, tells you nothing. These are the covert tactics of the spirit's camouflage.

Did you notice the almost too bright glimmer in those eyes – a hint of moisture forming at the inner corner of one of them – swelling up to create one perfectly shaped salty tear?

Could you see the reddened crescent nail imprints on both arms as an internal struggle took place to not break down in public, as cruelty washed over that body, that mind, that heart, that soul?

Had you glanced down you might have noticed the pink and white mottled toe joints, scrunched up, fortifying themselves in their own tiny, fearful way.

Be a person, a human being who takes a second glance and isn't quick to judge. 

Fear is often disguised as bravado, or meanness, or aggression. Steeliness is frequently the facade of sadness. Bracing against perceived and potential human storms is a reflex; a learned behavior from past hurts and disappointments.

Quick to judge others brings them more of the same.                

Patience can melt a frozen heart and heal a wounded soul.

Kindness is the strong soul's way of giving attention to one who needs it.

Shrug off the indifference, poor attitude and cold shoulder of one who needs a shoulder.

Take a second glance to look beyond the arrogance and indifference of a suffering spirit.

Make a difference for one — Make a difference for many — Make a difference for you

February 9 - 15 is Random Acts of Kindness Week, but it can start right now : )

The Time of "Your" Life

Typically, sometime around August or September, I review and recommend books that are of the spiritual, inspirational and motivational genres. Well, this next one can't wait until the summer months. It is your next best read of the year – and no better time than at the beginning of the New Year to pick up a book that you won't want to put down because its insight, candor and wisdom takes you to a new place of understanding.

While "The Time of My Life," by Cecelia Ahern, is a work of fiction, it is so utterly open and honest it feels like you're reading a true story. Miss Ahern (also the author of P.S. I Love You, which was adapted for the big screen, starring Hilary Swank and Gerard Butler) has a unique way of opening up her characters and revealing their most vital organs. As uncomfortable as this sounds, you will find that it is a necessary part of the process, as Lucy Silchester (the main character) comes face to face with her life - literally. I will not be ruining the end by telling you they are stitched back together, better than ever, by the time you're on the last page; with Ms. Ahern's flair and style of writing, the end is just a way of closing off. The meat of the story is what will have you hooked and wanting more. If you're a rubbernecker, the excruciatingly painful collision of Lucy's private life with her hammy open Life persona will remind you of an accident in slow motion.

The series of events that leads to her metamorphosis are detailed, humorous, and arouse empathy. Cecelia has an uncanny way of describing emotions and thought processes in a way that we can all too easily relate to, so you might find yourself squirming now and again as the bare truth of the main character, Lucy, is revealed.

To say that this book is thought provoking would be as simplistic as saying Big Ben is a clock. The brilliant psychological manipulation of her Life, used to enlighten the  deeply-entrenched-in-la-la-land Lucy, allows the reader to have a front row seat to her own personal hell and heaven.

The unbelievably real message of this piece of fiction has you invested in the idea that Life might come knocking at your door any minute, and when it doesn't, you feel like you're missing out.

If you read only one book this year...  

2015 – The Buck Stops Here

Confetti, cork-popping champagne-induced embraces, and hoopla of the New Year, are already a thing of the past. We've arrived at the midway point of the first month only to discover an episodic clone of the previous year. 

If this sounds somewhat somber  (and sobering) it is.

Time to take a really serious look at what's ahead for us. To evaluate what must, should, needs to be done.  

Pass the buck should only be referenced between flirtatious doe besties as they flutter their eyelashes and strut their stuff while passing the hunky buck. 

Eyes cast downward and limp-handed finger pointing is not the best method for coming to terms with or ignoring the state of the world. We are, all, small links in this gigantic chain of events that has managed to unforgivably repeat itself year after year.

We are also halfway into this decade. Is this to be the remainder of the 2000's teen years? Maybe so. The teen years are known to be hormonal, self absorbed, angst-filled tar pits of misery. Should we brace ourselves until this century reaches the somewhat more  mature mellowed twenties? Although, it's typically not until the late thirties or early forties that the sprinkle of snow atop the receding hairline brings us to the brink of maturity, and even then...

Exactly. Who says wisdom or a calm demeanor come with age? Haven't you ever witnessed an angry thirty, forty or fifty year old driver, bellicose and belligerent at being cut off in the passing lane?

This isn't an age thing. This is a passing of time, history repeating itself thing.

In what decade will the history books be rewritten to reflect enlightenment rather than war? When will we look back and say silent prayers of thanks that the world and its people have changed - become a kinder, gentler, wiser race of human beings? At what point will we know that the New Year bodes well?

If you have a bit of the gambler in you, you might wager that 2015 will do better  in the aftermath of 2014, even with the shaky start it's had. But why should we have to gamble on world peace, or on the success of the New Year? 

I'm praying that 2015 is a loving and harmonious year; a prodigy of love. A mature fifteen year old that turns his back on turbulence and terrorism and washes his hands of it. A mighty, proud, world-altering year that says there's no more passing the buck - the buck stops here.

Infinity and Beyond

Some of the most defeating conversations do not happen with others. They take place in our own minds, where our opponent is fiercer than any foe could be.

The universe is limitless –  we're not sure where it begins or where it ends. When you consider that we are made up of protons, neutrons and electrons, as is the universe, why then do you think we limit ourselves?

Desire leads us to accomplish great things. While not everyone is on the same path as renowned trailblazers Einstein, Curie, Shakespeare or Yousafzal, the desire to create a path that leads to fulfillment is there for all of us. 

Infinite possibilities.

Paths may change direction – offshoots of an original thought may manifest a hybrid plan, or one that is completely separate from the original concept, however, all is possible.

This season's holidays are often filled with great emotion as the year winds down and a new one appears on the horizon. Too often the focus is on what occurred and not on what is yet to come.

Set yourself free.

Do not limit yourself.

Go where your desire takes you.

Enjoy the journey and embrace the change.

Fear not why your direction's course has altered.

Accept the changes and stay the course only as long as it is productive.

The best is yet to come and we are the navigators of our intentions and destiny.

With desire, certainty, confidence, acceptance, peace, love and presence, we will arrive at our place in the greater, external  universe, as well as, in our internal universe. The two are one.

Listen to your inner voice, the sound box of your gut instinct. There is no shame in changing direction. We control our destiny when we are present and mindful of what we truly want. There is no shame in wanting to have it all. There is a limitless universe and we are an essential part of it. 

Go forth and conquer. It's (y)our inalienable right.

One More Step - Happy Thanksgiving

This Thanksgiving, when you give thanks for all that you have, remember to look within and give thanks for your tenacity, your willpower, inner strength, pluck, and spirit that lifts you and others, day after day, even when you think the well has run dry. Keep going. Success was founded on...

... One More Step

I’d rather walk humbly than put on airs      Understand than be understood
Be the foundation instead of top floor
Do all the things I should

I’d rather build up than tear apart
The spirit of those I love
Lead with no fanfare, quietly, calm
Be the olive branch and the dove

I’d rather stay in the game ‘til the end
Than bow out when the going gets tough
Count my blessings from all things great
When others cry, “It’s enough!”

Success is built by staying strong                       
It ascends the steps of hard knocks
It’s not the goal or destination
It’s life’s lessons and building blocks

I’ll be strong and brave, won’t ever give  in                         
Will resist the temptation to quit
There will be times when the urge is to stop
There’ll be times when there’s no more grit

To all these challenges, I say to myself
“Just one more step I take”
One more step through the darkest of night
‘Til the clock chimes dawn’s daybreak

One more step and then I’ll rest
One more step I go
One more step to prove I can
One more step to show

One and one and one step more
Ignoring burst blisters and pain
Uphill, downhill, horizon bound
Under blazing sun, through rain

I’d rather walk humbly with strong reserve
I’ll crawl on my knees to keep going
I can cover the wounds on my knees and my soul
I will do this without others knowing

And when the last step is covered with grass
And when the last breath is no more
I’ll know in my heart that one more step
Led me up to and through the door

Copyright©2014 D. Desser All Rights Reserved

Calling for Sunny Skies

Last night called for sunny skies –  light and breezy. Not a chance of rain. The perfect forecast.

A magnificent day to look forward to.

This morning, after receiving a sombre call, the winds of change swooped in and proved it to be a day without fair skies. A day that bitterly cast aside sunshine and resolved itself to gray and gloom.

One phone call received from an ill wind was all it took to allow the depletion of the soul and spirit. One phone call. 

One  Single  Call

How much power do we have? How much power do we give away? Why do we give it away? And how can we stop this intrusion that wreaks havoc with our disposition?

Mahatma Gandhi said, "Nobody can hurt me without my permission." 

This is a simple truth. What we allow to happen is an invasion of our minds by another's negative thoughts and words. Physical strength is important, but to be strong of mind gives strength until the very end of our days, when our physicality becomes part of a dim, distant past.

Think about what you will and won't permit in your own personal life. You may not be able to halt what goes on elsewhere, but you have the power to limit access of others to your mind and thoughts. 

When you do your spirit soars with confidence as you empower yourself.

Your disposition will be that of a spiritually strong individual.

Cast off the mean spirited words of the less enlightened and continue to walk your path to inner tranquility - a victory of sorts. It takes practice and resolve, but what you gain is well worth it.

We are responsible for our own good feelings. By structuring our thought patterns to limit the negative and increase the positive, we create a shift in our own nature that can be far-reaching; benefiting others as well as ourselves.

Give yourself a few moments to reflect and rebuild your thoughts. 
The skies are bound to clear up.

Lemon Wedge Moon

There’s a lemon-wedge of a moon tonight, suspended in a deepening blue tranquil sky that speaks of possibilities.

The moon and sky are a part of the universe, which is a part of me, and of which we are all a part. We’re connected as we hear unspoken words of longing, wishing, expecting, thoughts of inner peace, gratitude, happiness, acknowledgements of blessings.

This particular twilight is our special moment, just moon and me.

There's not a bird in the sky. No airplanes. Tree leaves are still. The pool motor has completed its eight-hour run and is now silent. No low hum of electricity from neighboring homes, not even a distant dog barking.

It’s an intimate moment, one to be treasured.

Snugly wrapped in a terry robe sitting upright on a poolside lounge, I am surrounded by the still air. I breathe in the scent of laundered towels, the delicate sweetness of  blooms, and a hint of chlorine.

Moon and I communicate. 

Moon rises, the star of the evening, but pays close attention. Moon is a good listener. I bounce ideas off of moon and hear moon’s message of quiet wisdom. I feel moon’s connectedness to me, a mere human, one of many, but moon, moon is just one.

I feel special, chosen, singled out.

Moon is not illuminated by ego. Moon knows that without sun’s gracious gift, there’s no spotlight. Yet, I recognize that without moon, romance could easily take a turn for the worse. This is a part of our discussion, romance, and moon’s role in the June, spoon of it. I hold my breath, waiting for pearls of wisdom. Moon does not disappoint.

There’s a lemon-wedge of a moon tonight, suspended in a deepening blue tranquil sky that speaks of possibilities.

Tonight, moon chose me.

Copyright © 2014 Deborah Desser. All rights reserved.

Green Beans, Garlic and a Facebook Connection

Post an item about GMO's or parenting and you receive a thumbs-up from 52 of your 3,074 Facebook (FB) friends. Success! Twenty dishes you can make with green beans and garlic was shared by 49 friends. Awesome!
 

A good many do this to stay in touch. It's a way of reaching more people with less energy. We can have mediocre to non-existent relationships with hundreds and thousands.

Is this satisfying? Do you feel the same level of satisfaction as when you finish your plate of green beans and garlic? It filled an empty space of time or hunger, but just temporarily.

It has been said more than once that quality trumps quantity.

I'm reminded of the Business Networking International (BNI) meetings I used to attend every Thursday morning at 7 a.m. in downtown Fort Lauderdale.  We shared leads and referrals with our business associates, the intent being to boost their business, as well as our own.

Another thing we did to help increase our client base was to set up one-to-ones. The premise was, and still is, that when you get to know someone a little better, you often find that you can be the link between them and one of your own clients/friends/family members. Relationship building takes time, and more importantly, is an inroad to a more personal connection. Just by spending a little quality time you may find that you have much in common with someone you might never have gotten to know.

Large gatherings and social events, both online and in person, are wonderful ways to network and socialize, however, intimate discussions and personal connections will never take a back seat to them.

A tip of the hat to Facebook and other social sites that are linking people with long-lost friends.

Now it's time to pick up the phone and make a call – your new acquaintance, or old friend, might know an even better way to prepare green beans and garlic!

The Pushmi-Pullyu of the Middle East

The "Pushmi-Pullyu" is a character from Dr. Dolittle - a two-headed animal joined by one body. At one end is the gazelle, at the other the unicorn. Quite an interesting combination when you consider the following:

• The gazelle is known as the plucky underdog of the animal kingdom - fast and agile enough to escape the jaws of its predators; an intelligent animal that adapts, has keen vision and rather quickly senses enemies in its vicinity. They can sprint, stot (straight-legged bounce) and have permanent horns. They are resilient, graceful beasts.

• The unicorn, while thought of in mythical terms as exceptional, appears in the Bible nine times, where it is mentioned that it is a wild and dangerous animal and cannot be tamed. It is thought that the unicorn is fashioned after the wild ox and/or rhinoceros. Myth states that darkness and winter will ensue should the unicorn's horn ever be broken or lost.

That is how the Pushmi-Pullyu is portrayed in the first Dr. Dolittle movie. 

In the remake the beast is a two-headed llama, both heads at the same end.

The Gaza Strip is one body of land with political and religious polarities not unlike the Dr. Dolittle character – the "Pushmi-Pullyu" of the Middle East, so to speak. One head chews its cud while the other speaks. 

One group of people wants to maintain peace through intelligence and vision, and one group wishes to remain wild, untamed and oblivious of the terror and devastation left in their wake. One side brings improvements to health, technology and quality of life, the other snuffs out life.

The Israelis are plucky underdogs. They do not know the meaning of defeat and do not bow to any aggressor that wants to uproot their forward way of thinking and lust for life.

May the "gazelles" of the Middle East continue to combine their intelligence and agility to outwit the beast at the other end. Or even better, may they live as portrayed in the second version of the film, as two heads, two peoples in harmony, both on the same side.

Peace in the Middle East?

The only time I ever knew political fear on a national level was when my son was in elementary school. That morning my husband called from work and asked, "Have you turned on the TV?" I ran to the television set as he continued, "I just heard on the radio that the United States is under attack!" 

It seemed ridiculous. The U.S. under attack? How was this possible? But we were. 

For the first and only time in my life, I felt vulnerable and fearful, easily reached with no place to hide. Parents were rushing over to schools to collect their children, in our city and cities all over the country. Bear in mind that the events were unfolding in New York, Philadelphia and Washington.

That didn't matter to me. It felt like it was in my own backyard. Right here in South Florida. 

September 11, 2001 changed the idea that the United States was impenetrable and a safe haven, protecting us from those who wished to bring us harm.

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It is frightening and disturbing. It denies every individual peace of mind, and relegates hope to a completely different realm - an unfathomable hinterland - when one considers the complexities of hate and terrorism.

Yet, my fear is on a separate level. I live in the United States of America. Prior to the States I lived in Canada, where I was born and raised. In other words, a fairly peaceful existence. A co-existence of many different people.

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Peace.

Will it ever happen in the Middle East as long as there exists a we and a them? Will there ever be a mirrored reflection of both sides as one? The absurd polarity of it is this – exchange sides and we become them and they become us. We are all interchangeable. We will never know peace until both sides recognize that we are, all of us, God's children.

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"KILL THEM ALL A GOOD MUZZY IS A DEAD MUZZY" is a comment posted on a friend's Facebook page July 8, 2014. I take serious exception to this kind of rant. Remember, turn the tables and that is what is being said of the Israelis by ignorant, terrorist radicals who have no concept of acceptance, tolerance, peace or love. Until the masses have an understanding that radical terrorists of a race or religion do not reflect nor represent all of their people, there will continue to be this insane behavior and attempted annihilation of an innocent group of people. Judging all because of a few has never bode well.

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The Israelis have only seconds before incoming missiles hit any number of targets. The Iron Dome launches rockets that have intercepted many medium and long range rockets, but not all. The Israelis live under constant fear, stressed for the safety of their children and their own lives.

Does this mean that one's comment, as noted above, is legitimate? Wouldn't it be better to work towards raising the bar, rather than sinking to the lowest common denominator?

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How can this be done? 

I wish I had the answer.

Will there ever be peace in the Middle East? 

I wish I knew, and that the answer was a globally resounding YES!

What can any of us do about this sad and disturbing episodic travesty? 

Let us pray for enlightenment. Let us meditate for morality and human consciousness. Let us vow not to turn into hate mongers. Let us continue to differentiate right from wrong and remain on the elevated side of right.

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May the Middle East know peace, now, in our time.  Amen.

© 2014 Deborah Desser

Peace

Where can I find a little peace? is not an uncommon query. We hear it, we say it, we believe it.

The truth of the matter is, peace is everywhere, when it is planted in the mind, heart, soul and spirit. When we pay attention to our thoughts, listen to our breathing, become mindful of our practices and acknowledge our blessings, peace forms and grows.

As peace grows in our minds, it takes hold in our surroundings and situations, spreading roots, bearing new green shoots of optimism, love, happiness.

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace."—Jimi Hendrix 

"Nobody can bring you peace but yourself."—Ralph Waldo Emerson 

"Peace is its own reward."—Mahatma Gandhi 

"The real and lasting victories are those of peace, and not war."
—Ralph Waldo Emerson 

"If you want peace, you don't talk to your friends. You talk to your enemies."—Desmond Tutu

Peace be within you.

The Road to ? Is Paved with Good Intentions and Commitment, or How Emotional Release is Exhilirating!

Good feelings abound as holidays and special occasions take place, only to dissipate once the calendar page is torn away. What does this mean? Basically that holidays come with more than festivities - they come with good intentions, too. And lots of emotions.

Let's take a look at the following, well-known holidays and what transpires before, during and after:

• New Year's Eve. Leading up to it we feel anticipation, excitement at the opportunity for a brand new start. During the evening we revel and speak of new beginnings - resolutions that will turn our lives around. The change is generally short-lived as, after New Year's Day, we feel the let down of the momentum and the reality that change takes place when we make a commitment to our emotions and intentions.
• St. Valentine's Day. Leading up to it we feel excited about love - having it, looking for it or finding it. We're convinced that our soul mate will manifest in response to our heart's wish and our mind's good thoughts. We assure ourselves that we will proactively participate in our relationship or open ourselves up to love, hence receiving our true love. Afterward, when the last petal falls off the delicate rose, we are left with no observable difference in our life because the momentum left and we did not commit to our emotions or intentions.
• Independence Day. Leading up to it we feel an enormous pride in our nation, community, family and those serving on our behalf. We buy the red, white and blue plates, cups and napkins, purchase colorful fireworks and go to town having a good time in recognition of our country's past, present and future. We vow to undertake duties not taken before, and participate in events that support our nation. What happens a day later is back to what is in front of our noses - no more, no less. The passion, pride and momentum falls off abruptly as the red, white and blue garlands are packed away; emotions and intentions packed away with the decorations.

The same goes for Thanksgiving, Chanukah, Christmas, Kwanzaa and personal celebrations.

The point is, emotions and ideals, of what we should be doing in the big picture and for the greater good, is short lived when it is based on sensory emotions: seeing the hustle and bustle leading up to a big holiday, hearing the associated music, smelling the special holiday foods and, of course, tasting them. The holidays play on our emotions like violin music in a romantic drama.

There is no way that the intent to commit to the moment will last. It's like walking out of the movie theater, eyes red from crying, and twenty minutes later chomping on a smoked meat sandwich with your friends, laughing at one of their inane comments.

Now, there is no right or wrong here. Just like having a good cry after a sad movie (or a laugh after a particularly funny one) is good for the soul, so are the holidays, and the emotions they evoke.

On the other hand, if you don't want it to be short-lived and disappear in a puff of smoke, try drafting a map for yourself. The greatest journeys have all started with one little step. This blog is more about having options and fulfilling your own personal needs than it is about redirecting. We all love to be the directors of our own movie. This is one way of looking at two possibilities during the year's many holidays and special occasions.

Emotional release and personal change are both good things. Be open to either.

The

World

is

Yours.

Tick – Tick – Tick

Watching the World Population Clock I witnessed 40 births documented within a span of 10 seconds.
It was estimated, March 1, 2007, that by the year 2050 there would be 7.3 to 10.7 billion people on earth. Our planet's population is currently at over 7.230 billion, and it's only 2014.
Life is doubling, tripling, expanding at a rate never imagined. Mother Earth has a heavy load, and as the world's population expands and (figuratively) explodes (or is it literally?) the collective consciousness is becoming more aware and questioning what life is, what comes after life, and is this the only life?
If you think this is the only life, consider this: after an egg is laid, a larva forms and a caterpillar is born, after which the pupa (or chrysalis) emerges as a butterfly. The life cycle of the butterfly takes on many forms and never ends. From egg to larva, caterpillar to butterfly, and egg once more, the cycle continues.
The World Population Clock documents births and deaths – the growth of earth's inhabitants surpasses deaths by more than two times.
And if you know that energy is never extinguished, it only takes on other forms, eg. ice, water, steam, and you understand the life cycle of the butterfly, where do you suppose our energy (soul, spirit, life force) goes? Where does it end up – and does it ever end?
Speculation as to life after death, reincarnation and a higher consciousness that never needs to return to the cycle of life, is ongoing. The greatest minds, and most inquisitive and creative thinkers, still cannot conclusively determine what goes on after our flame has been extinguished.
Yet we know that the energy is never extinguished, and it is for this reason that we may want to focus on our eternal energy that is a continuum, linking from past lives and situations to more positive experiences that build to a point where energy is pure.

Like stacking blocks, lower ones are bigger and more cumbersome supporting a size less massive, lighter and higher - reaching toward the sky. Can this be a model for our life force? Is our own personal evolution moving toward a time where we need never to return to physical form, only a mind – consciousness with no body, floating on the thin air between galaxies?
Speculation, interpretation, creative thinking and evolution, both of the mind and the physical form, have not been able to arrive at a final conclusion.
What we may wish to figure out is how to become lighter, higher more evolved to the point at which we mingle with the souls of our past and float forever in the vast universe.
Is this the goal – heaven – panacea for the many lives we've lived? Maybe it's time we started thinking about it.
The clock is tick – tick – ticking.

I Cross a Stream, I Have a Dream

Do you think you could jump from a second story window into a large body of water below? How about if there was a raging fire starting to burn through the door, and leaping off the ledge was the only possible way out of the room?

Thank goodness most of us will never be faced with a life or death situation such as this, however, every day hundreds of thousands of individuals deal with overwhelming situations that call for action and they find that they cannot make the transition. They're afraid to jump, yet to remain means to get badly burned, or worse. Rooted to the spot where they stand because of emotional paralysis, a fear based behavior, the ability to move forward evades them, and the deadly flames engulf them.

The flames can represent almost anything – a rotten business deal, a marriage gone bad, unhappiness with your choice of college major, or experiencing buyers' remorse.

Too many stay in their bad deal, allowing the flames to lick higher and higher, causing profuse sweating, blistering and pain as the fire overtakes them and snuffs out their lives. It's heart-wrenching, when all they had to do was take a leap of faith into the cool, life-saving water below.

What's scarier is the fact that most of these decisions are not life or death situations – they're decisions that end up being either right or wrong for you, but death will not ensue. Action was never taken to find out.

To reach your dreams and realize them in a big way, it takes more for some and less for others. Some people are looking for the next challenge in all aspects of their lives. And many shy away from the decision-making that can lead them to greener pastures (or failure). Now you might think that if they knew that there would be greener pastures and no failure, they would take the leap of faith but surprisingly, the idea of making a choice is just as difficult for a guaranteed good outcome than not.

Fear of the unknown prevents many from having a full, well-rounded life. Afraid to travel, commit to a partner or job or move to a new city keeps these individuals in a pretty monotonous life.

In Abba's hit, I Have a Dream, the lyrics are simple but evocative of a deeper belief system:

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream, I have a dream

I have a dream, a fantasy
To help me through reality
And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness still another mile
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream, I have a dream
I'll cross the stream, I have a dream

The line, "Something good in everything I see," is extremely important, as it underlines the concept that all experiences are valuable. Shutting out decision making because of fear of the outcome is shutting out life.

Change your college major, try a new job, ask the young lady with the pretty smile to join you for a cup of coffee, book tickets for an adventure. Start living life. The worst that can happen? You add another experience to your list. Perhaps you do find what you were looking for. Until you open your eyes, mind and heart, you will never know.