There's Two Sides to Everything, and We're Not Talking 'Slaw and Fries!

'Slaw and fries on opposite sides!

When you hear the words, "You're entitled to your opinion," do you ever stop to think about what is being said? What message is being sent? It's an unfinished statement. Too often there's a "but" that follows and, of course, you hear the opinion. Their side. You may be the coleslaw, but they're talkin' fries.

I wrote a little bit about this a year or two ago. It was about perspective. The example I used was watching a hockey game (my son was playing defense). The ref made a call that everyone in the surrounding bleachers, including me, thought was a really bad one. At the very same time, however, the family and friends watching from the adjacent bleachers were excited and clapping, supporting the ref's decision. We were outraged! How could one be so blind? So oblivious?

Well, it's really easy to have an opinion that makes no sense to someone else. While we're asking them to try and see it from our perspective, we're ignoring the fact that they want us to do the same thing. Everyone has an agenda.
Sometimes people try to cut deals. "Just listen to what I have to say first and see if you don't agree with me. Then I'll be more than happy to listen to what you have to say." Easier said than done. Everyone wants to go first - to have their say before the other gets a chance to speak.

No matter which side makes their case first, the outcome is already predetermined - 'slaw's sticking with mayo and fries are cozying up with ketchup!
 
How can this two-sided arena come to an agreement? Will it end in the old standby, "We'll just have to agree to disagree?" Perhaps. But there are a couple of ways to get around this. They take practice and lots of resolve but they do work.

'Slaw and fries hanging out with no sandwich buffer-zone?

You First
 Two words. Simple. Polite. Respectful. Allows for the other to make their case without having to agree to hear you out first. Believe it or not, you've already made yourself heard louder and clearer than pushing for top billing.
Restrict
This takes more practice, but is amazingly successful. Don' t share your opinion. Seriously. Don't speak. Listen to your friend, nod, smile and let it go. If pressed, do not react. A genuine message such as, "You have an interesting take. I'd like to think about it" can end things peaceably.

Perspective, peace-keeping, positive, proactive. Call it what you may – it makes sense.
'Slaw and fries hanging out with no sandwich buffer-zone? Stranger things have happened!