It's Not About China

You might think that this blog post is politically based because of its title.  It's not. Nothing could be further from the truth.

It could have worn the title "It's Not About Crystal" or "It's Not About the Dress" or some other component of today's wedding celebrations. 

Weddings are a big deal – and they should be! They are the start of a union, a meeting of the minds, so to speak. However, it is a sad fact that more and more marriages are dissolving, and often within a very short time after emotionally speaking vows that meant something.  So why the title, "It's Not About China?"

Your china pattern may seem like a big deal, but here's a short story about a woman who had it all, or so it seemed.

Diane was married to a man who could provide for her everything her heart desired. She rode in the most expensive cars, wore clothes that came from high-end shops, had the diamonds, the home decor and the dishes. The only thing she didn't have was a husband who was on the same page as she. He was a brute and hit her. Not often but even once is too much. She finally divorced him.

Enter husband number two. A gentle man – a loving man toward Diane and her children. He was not a big earner but his love for her knew no bounds. Diane loved him and glowed when she mentioned his name. They were a happy couple and became a happy family.

This might not seem like the most interesting story but the day Diane excitedly told me of the dinner party she and her husband were giving made everything crystal clear to me. She said she didn't have enough dishes to serve the 8 or 10 people expected. She had walked away from everything in her previous marriage. I offered to lend her additional dishes for her guests. She declined and said, "No thanks, we'll make do." The next day I asked her how her dinner party went. She exclaimed, "It was perfect! We had so much fun." I was curious what she ended up doing about the extra dishes she needed, specifically the salad bowls. She happily said, "We washed out margarine containers and used those. They didn't match but the salad was great!

 As you enjoy the beautiful details of planning a wedding, remember that it's really about the marriage of two souls, two hearts that will live together and weave a partnership of the most intimate and loving fabric. The china pattern that you chose so carefully and the crystal that you picked out together may break or lose its charm. Dishes can be replaced. But it is far easier to smile at the love of your life over the cracked lip of a coffee mug than to smile at what appears to be a stranger over the most perfect bone china.