And I Knew

Met a man today
Lying in the street
His clothes were tattered
He'd nothing to eat
But he looked at me
With a smile so sweet
And I knew that he was special

Met a woman today
On a bench in the park
Her shopping cart empty
Her future rather stark
But she looked at me
With eyes that held a spark
And I knew that she was special

Met a child today
Face pressed against a pane
His clothes soaking wet
As he stood out in the rain
But he looked at me
With a love he couldn't feign
And I knew that he was special

Met a person today
That I've known for years
For the first time, though
I could see through her fears
And she looked at me
With a smile in spite of tears
And I knew that I was special

Compassion is for everyone and that includes you! Random Acts of Kindness Week, February 10-16, Be kind to others – be kind to yourself .....

The Four-One-One on God

What is the process by which we find out more about something? Nowadays it is an extension of our fingertips. Technology and information is a click away. A nano-pause and a blink. Presto. You now have thousands of references directly in the palm of your hand.

A few years back it involved a trip to the library or, at the very least, a walk to the living room to fact check in the family's proudly displayed Encylopaedia Britannica or World Book Encyclopedia. Often friends didn't own such a splendid set of reference books and had to make an appointment to borrow one of the coveted volumes. Some families insisted that the friend conduct their research right then and there. The books never left the house.

Yet, if you go back even further, back to a time when books were limited and computers, handheld devices and the like did not exist, what was the path to enlightenment? How did one glean information, gain knowledge on any one topic? What was de rigeur when fact finding, discovering or verifying? How did one conduct any sort of research?

The 4-1-1 of the Physical World
Once upon a time, people had to physically search out answers to their questions: What happens when you reach the horizon, what determines gender, is there a God? These were big questions and, while some have been well researched and absolutely determined at this point in time, others still  remain a mystery – a mystery because the physical world does not reveal all.

Magellan and Elcano circumnavigated the globe back in the 6th century. It was a practical, hands-on experiment that did not go awry! It proved to the world that the earth was a sphere, not a plane that abruptly ended. Miescher, Watson and Crick all played a prominent role in the discovery of DNA. DNA is responsible for identifying, among other things, gender.

Listen to Your Left Chevron Three

But what about God? Is there an answer? Does God exist? Probably the biggest, deepest, most mystical, spiritual, unanswerable question ever posed. Who among us has the answer?

Quoted Charles M. Schultz, "I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building." 

Mr. Schultz juxtaposed a profound thought with a side note of humor, buffering a serious and long researched subject that continues to baffle humankind. Yet the answer is partially revealed in this quote. All of life and its contents are researched in the physical world. To find the intangibles one must look within. Note that Mr. Schultz states, "within the heart of all mankind." It is collaborative, not singular. Perhaps this is a little hint of a major find – we are all connected.

"God sleeps in the minerals, awakens in plants, walks in animal and thinks in man." 
                                                                                                               – Arthur Young

You might question Mr. Schultz's authority on this topic, but you cannot ignore the fact that until Magellan successfully circumnavigated the globe, there existed no prior proof of his capabilities. However, he was able to manifest a result in the physical world. How do we receive a definitive answer to the question, "Does God exist?" And if you question Mr. Schultz's significance in this discussion, and rightly you should, where is there some combined spiritual and scientific research that gives even the tiniest glimpse into the most profound question of all time? Certainly a cartoonist cannot and does not hold the key to the question of all time?

"The key to wisdom is this – constant and frequent questioning, for by doubting we are led to question and by questioning we arrive at the truth."       – Peter Abelard

There are many books on this subject, however, one stands out brightly among the rest. You might try picking up a copy of Uell S. Andersen's Three Magic Words. I highly recommend it as one of the foremost tomes on this topic. He reveals a wealth of insight into the 4-1-1 on God. While a definitive answer does not lie behind door number one, two or three, this book offers some very profound thoughts and concepts on the subject. It's a good place to start your own spiritual conquest.

Love on a Budget

You don't have to hire a sky-writer to announce your feelings to the world for that one special person in the world to you. You can write a note on a post-it. It is small. It is intimate. It is personal. It is real. It is your commitment. It is in your own words and needn't be shared with anyone else. Take poetic license. It is your message of love. It can be scribbled across a napkin and tucked into a lunchbox. It is your choice, your creation, your declaration. It is your vow.

You needn't buy the biggest bouquet of flowers to express your love for another. You can pick one buttercup from a field. You can place one dandelion in a pickle jar. You can draw flowers on a scratchpad. You can tell your beloved that her face is prettier than an English countryside filled with blushing pink roses.

You can compliment your beloved's perfume or the scent of her hair, freshly washed, stepping out of a shower. You can inhale her essence and tell her how you take comfort in knowing that she shares it with you and you only.

The biggest heart-shaped box of chocolates cannot replace the sweetness of a gesture, meaningful compliment or act of kindness. One crimson-colored lipstick heart, lovingly drawn on the bathroom mirror, goes far beyond any store bought trinket, for it speaks of what is in your heart not what is in your wallet. One homemade, pink icing-covered cupcake is as sweet as an entire box of chocolates. It is baked with love. It is the secret ingredient. You can taste it.

As February 14th approaches, think about what you are feeling and how you care to express your feelings: with words, acts of kindness, in writing or in silent companionship. Then think about this ... there are 364 more days in the year. February 14th is just one of them. One day to express love and devotion to another. Love on a budget need never end. The well does not run dry. It is full. It is available. It is real. It quenches love's thirsty needs. Drink with gusto from the well of true feelings. Share your well with your special one. True love does not rely on a swollen bank account. Love on a budget is grand. Love on a budget is special.

People - It's a Numbers Game

No Man Is An Island

No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thine own
Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.

John Donne

It takes two to tango, procreate, play a game of pitch and catch. Two is gin rummy - one is solitaire. Three Dog Night sang about one being the loneliest number that there ever was. Barbara Streisand sang about people needing people. While being independent sounds stoic and strong, it also sounds lonely. In the poem, "No Man is an Island," John Donne states plainly, yet forcefully, how human beings are interdependent on each other for company and survival.

As 2013 takes the lead where 2012 left off, it is interesting to reflect on the past year's encounters: Meeting people for the first time, how they have factored into your life, how they have played a major or minor role; how some have stayed and some not.

I happened to meet a few individuals who recognize the basic premise that no man is an island and are doing something to bring people together in various ways; one by one and in groups. 

Nightly Healing, founded by Victoria Lichtman, a certified life coach and enthusiast of healing through grace and guidance, fills a need for thousands worldwide by being there, in their home, 365 days a year. It is a nightly program that brings comfort to those who are alone. You can find out more by logging onto  http://www.nightlyhealing.com/ 

Whoever said that it's lonely at the top didn't know about another individual whose path I crossed mid 2012. Greg Bellomy is the CEO to the CEOs! Mentoring a group of CEOs from various professions and career choices, Greg chairs with Vistage Florida. This company has based its niche in recognizing the often solitary work of the hierarchy of a firm and helping those at the top - because it can get lonely up there.

Then there is a wonderful online networking venture, http://www.meetup.com/ that asks you pertinent questions such as gender, where you live, age group and interests to help you establish a fulfilling life that includes new friends and fun things to do. It is a lonely road when you've just moved to a new place or lost your life partner. With Meetup offering thousands of choices of special interest groups you may need to stay in for a night or two to recuperate from so many weekly activities!

Being alone is not easy, but regardless of how your life is playing out – as a CEO at the top of a corporation, a shut-in with only a computer for company or a newcomer to the big city, you don't ever have to feel alone.

Vote for Acceptance Over Tolerance

Today, December 1st,  marks the first day of Tolerance Week. I've thought long and hard about the word Tolerance and I've come to the conclusion that I personally do not care for it – at least not when it comes to people. When used as a term in science and research it's totally acceptable.

And that is when I realized that the word, Acceptance, was one that I could put my energy into and back wholeheartedly. Accepting is appealing, easy, without ego. Tolerance is about taking an exaggerated sigh and saying, "Okay - if I have to." It is about being permissive of others and enduring others' behaviors; about not allowing what is, but what you feel you have to do. It is filled with insincerity. It's neither real nor genuine. It's biting the bullet and not embracing the soul.

"Acceptance is having the faith, despite the circumstances, that all is well."  Having faith is essential, whereas an attitude of tolerance withholds the value of faith. It promulgates the belief that we are at the helm, and this just isn't so. We are in control of ourselves, using our freedoms of choice – no more and no less.

If we subscribe to the belief that God is love and has openly declared we are all one and in his own image, then we might have to take a second look at tolerance and its negative message. To tolerate is to say we have the right and the task of bearing others. This is not of love nor of God. This is man-made and cannot hold up as lovingly as acceptance. Acceptance is inclusive.

"There's so much grace in acceptance. It's not an easy concept, but if you embrace it, you'll find more peace than you ever imagined."

Imagine if this week of tolerance became the week of acceptance. Roget's suggests the word, adopt, as a suitable synonym for the word accept. Think of a mother's and father's love of an adopted child. Though they are not the biological parents of this being, they have accepted   adopted   this child with all of their heart and soul. The concept of acceptance bringing about peace makes sense. Tolerance, on the other hand, connotes open-mindedness. A parent on the path of adoption is not being open-minded, they are about and of love.

"I define comfort as self-acceptance. When we finally learn that self-care begins and ends with ourselves, we no longer demand sustenance and happiness from others."

The author of this quote, Jennifer Louden, has given us an insightful glance of acceptance and how it starts with ourselves. We cannot accept others if we do not first accept who we are. We cannot change others but we can begin by accepting ourselves, which brings about positive change.

When Mahatma Gandhi said, "You must be the change you wish to see in the world" truer words were never spoken.  To tolerate is to shrug and say, "Okay, if I must." To accept is to breathe deeply and say, "I love without boundary."

There are those who will say it's simply a matter of semantics. I say a week of Acceptance is a week of honesty, comfort, graciousness, faith and love. What do you say?

Immortal Words

For centuries politicians and poets, orators and others have been immortalized through eloquent quotes and passages that conveyed their wisdom and depth of character. They have left their mark on the world and, to a degree, changed the world simply by speaking profound and thoughtful words purposely linked together in a sentence.

Oscar Wilde, Mark Twain, Roosevelt and JFK are but a few who have contributed beautiful sentiments that impacted the way many Americans think and behave. Many in the public eye have had the fortuitous opportunity to help shape the future for the better.

While not every word or phrase spoken by every living being is "quotable" each one of their words has been expressed and is, therefore, immortal. Both the spoken and written word is capable of changing a person – a situation – a life. This occurs millions of times on a daily basis.

When we use the term "immortal" it signifies two concepts: words that impart greatness, intellect and profound wisdom, and words that last forever: a legacy of sorts.

Words are energy. They are uplifting and glorious when praises are sung as they are putdowns when waging verbal battle. They can heal and they can harm. Because of this, words can be salve to a wound or the dagger that inflicted it. It is energy that forms according to plan.

Contrary to the childhood chant, "Sticks and stones may break your bones but words can never harm you," nothing could be further from the truth. The injuries inflicted on the soul by sharp words can cut deeper than any flesh wound. As sound can travel through plasma, the unborn (in utero) hear what you say. In fact at 20 weeks old babies have been recorded turning their heads in response to external noises during routine sonograms.

Whether the words are merely thoughts in your mind, quietly spoken, written on a page or magnified over a microphone, they carry the same energy – the energy of the words' intent.

The harm that they cause when less than truthful or flattering is a double-edged sword. The recipient as well as the speaker is injured, but it is the speaker that carries the greater burden, for no matter if an apology follows, there is no way to take back what was spoken. If only there were a word repository to seal away the injurious sentiment. A vacuum to suck up the uttered impetuous phrase, for sound is not capable of traveling though a vacuum. Unfortunately for the spokesperson, there is not. The deed has been done.

As harmful as these spoken and written words are, the words expressed in our minds as thoughts are just as powerful and potentially dangerous. How many times a day do you talk to yourself through thought, sending the wrong message to yourself?

We must be as mindful of our thoughts, the messages we send ourselves, as those that we send to others. Filtration systems should be installed in the thought process just as they are when choosing the right words to speak to others.

When talking to yourself, use positive words, when speaking with others choose your words wisely, and no matter to whom you speak, remember the immortal words of Nathaniel Hawthorn, "Words, so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them."

Reflection of an Election

The last ballot was cast yesterday evening and the 44th President of the United States was voted into office. Today millions of Americans are either happy or disappointed. Yet today millions of Americans still went to work, school and the gym. Today millions of Americans traveled, went shopping, chatted with their friends, visited the library, walked in the park and texted one another. They ate, did laundry and tried to balance their check books. They lived their lives.

Life goes on.

Reflect on the past months as both candidates battled it out. As they came out verbally swinging it appeared as serious and life altering as a showdown at the OK Corral. Last night marked the end of the road for one and the start of a new journey for the other. Only one would win and only one did.

Is life now perfect for the winner?

The momentary exuberance of the win is magnificent but short-lived. The work may be more challenging than ever before as the President is pressed upon to prove to the citizens that they elected the right man. There is no free ride.

Is life now over for the defeated candidate?

Not at all. The disappointment of losing is as temporary as the winner's exaltation. Life continues and, as we all know, when one door closes another opens. The one not chosen will go on to experience other achievements.

Try using the election as your springboard into the pool of understanding life – drink deeply of its metaphorical juxtaposition of good and bad, right and wrong, winner and loser.

What you can do is embrace what is. Breathe in the moment of what is. Live what is and give thanks for what is. Sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. However, if we reflect on where we once were and where we are now, we might discover that there were no losses – just a lot of living going on.

"By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest."    –    Confucius